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This is exactly something I tried to have a conversation with my friends about, it's not that I don't experience emotions, in fact it's the exact opposite. my emotional state can be so complex and over burden it's almost impossible to describe. It's like describing a color that doesn't exist

And adapt all of the above to suit your child. Like the 10 minute timer…..we had 15 minute stop warning, then 10 min left, then 5 min left, then stop. This allows for computer saves, etc. as they might not have much concept of time. Then, DO IT. Once a rule is broken, it’s no longer a rule. Great video, Orion. As a parent of PDA (& person with PDA), the attitude was really important. The child needs to feel understood & accepted, even when they are difficult. But what I found most helpful was being creative. While rules are rules & routine is routine, but FUN is vital. Races to do things, combine changes in routine with something they will like, put their chores:treats🎉 on a dartboard & the dart chooses for them (strategically placing the chores). I just made that up. I wouldn’t have done that due to holes in the wall or me. I’d use a box with slips or a list with dice. You get the idea. The more fun it was & the more control over it he had, the more likely it was to get done. I have to be honest, bribery with computer games worked the best. But it all came down to finding a way to make HIM choose to do it. The more engaging it was the more likely he would choose rather than balk. Oh! Peer pressure. A friend helped him clean his room and my was it tidy! Homework was done at school (thankfully, those were the biggest fights). There was a “homework club” after school & as long as they worked diligently there, they weren’t required to do any at home. GODSEND. Really great video. And very skill fully phrased to avoid the PDA/autism/behavioural debate that is constant. Could I add that 20 years ago when there wasn’t much info about P/DA, I found the book “The Explosive Child” by Dr Green(e?) invaluable. While it’s a bit more about meltdowns, it includes most (all ?) of the strategies you list, along with others, as strategies to use as meltdown prevention. It also was really great as it taught me…. “In a fight, there are no winners”.

So at the age of 50, i'm learning about this. And looking back on my life, i see that many times i ran into problems because of this. I'm still running into it right now. I was called stupid and lazy, And those were the nicer terms my mother used for it. I managed to finish highschool, though at a lower level than I was really able to with my intelligence. I went to 2 colleges and didn't finish any of them. Now in my later years i'm learning and understanding more and more and you're one of the reasons why. Your content is very helpful! [edit] i'm at number 10 now and am realising my parents did none.. absolutely none of these. No wonder i felt so shitty all the time...

Maybe you should just treat them like everyone else by not making any assumptions. It's the soul of courtesy, you know.

3:00 women formed bonds with others to have a stronger force against mistreatment, rape and violence in the past (in evolution). women are safer with other people arround that are on their side. I think this is why women have a stronger urge to mask. (this is a maybe and i have no clue about the actual facts)

Which is why doctors don't beleive I'm autistic. 😬🤦‍♀️

I'm on the autism spectrum as well. It can be difficult because our brains process information differently.

One thing that frustrates me too as an autistic person is how it isn't just needing more accommodations for our sensory needs, but in many ways we just need all these artificial obstacles removed or relaxed a bit. Things like requiring a driving license for reliable freedom, social lives, and job prospects in many places, needing jobs with basic human rights and proper breaks, needing access to healthcare, especially based around mental health and stress management, or at least affordable/accessible assessment to prevent all the issues that come with growing up thinking you just suck at modern life due to your own choices/worth. And all the unhealthy social obstacles like weird politeness hangups and assumptions, and just all the ableism and misinformation. Like, we don't just ask for some extra things for our personal needs, we ask for things that often makes life better and more comfortable for EVERYONE. I just want to be in a world that isn't so hostile. I'm typing this while ironically stuck in a random hotel parking lot searching for any free parking near an autism counselling meetup, because I cant afford a potential ticket of leaving my car here.

Pro biotics are somone elses shit though

Great advice Orion. My Daughter is almost 9years old, and we deal with demand avoidance every day.

Spotting autistic adults?....hmmm...know the difference between Mercury, Gemini and Apollo. Omega is always better than Rolex. And Rodney Mullen is the greatest athlete of all time.

My son is who I think of immediately. He drags and moans and lets his older brother do all the work. I think part of that is he doesn't want to be yelled at for doing stuff wrong. I recognize the behavior from myself, but boy is it irritating. I try racing him or breaking it down, but on bad days he's just like that no matter what I've tried.

No bake doesnt sound faster as a cheesecake But the baking ones are hot after cooking and then have to cool and go in the fridge too which takes extra time. But i get your frustration.

Sunlight and hot weather is one of my worst overstimulating things. I start to worry because I get heat strokes easier and sunlight gives me migranes and my skin burns easily.

This fits me to a T and just reinforces to me that I’m autistic. I NEVER let people into my house. lol. Literally never. I’ve not invited anyone into my house in over 10 years. Unless it’s the maintenance or my landlord to come fix something in my apartment. My apartment is my safe comfy place. No one judges me there and I can be myself without anyone getting irritated at me or asking me what the hell I’m doing.

I have the “unluck” of being autistic AND hsp. It makes my life more challenging than one could ever know.

I'm sorry, but I don't find this list particularly helpful as someone dealing with this situation. At least not as it is presented. Are you saying everyone who's an actual autistic has to agree with all ten items? These are ten things that might fit well for yourself, but what about someone with autism & adhd? What about someone who's at the very blurred boundary of the spectrum? These are the people who suffer the most from imposter syndrome, when traits are jumbled and/or unclear.

i relate to this a lot, and I've had times i try to explain it but then they completely misunderstand what im tryna say

🤯literally! Thank you!

What about suramin Have you heard of that one?

You can remove "Kids" from your title and the video itself. I'm 63, and these still apply to me. I bet it's a lot of work, and maybe there is no pay off for you the content creator, but these lists would be a good place for segmented video. Thanks for your excellent presentation as always sir.

I've been trying to phrase my own experience my whole life. There is a 3rd person here. The person (body) typing this has an autistic brain. But the "me" that animates this body is not autistic. ... Most people have hands that wield hammers. My hand is wielding a Bop It... and probably a ding dong.

Is there a way to diagnose someone you met online? There's this person whom I've been texting with and he's very hyper focused on a certain topic. He doesn't seem to have much EQ so I'm not sure

I Demand Orion Avoid being so frigging stellar awesome. With presenting all the goods on a subject so clear. Grabs my attention and keeps it..and must he actually know his shit always, and obvious gives a shit. Conversely to majority of others? Too incredible, blows my mind always. Thank you Orion Kelly.

Orion, can you address what goes wrong in communication? In my mind, I’m thinking I’m explaining well, or trying to be kind, or caring. But based on people’s responses, it doesn’t seem like what I said went over well.

My mother is a narcissist

Self soothing behaviors and stims are like rectangles and squares

I've shared this with a few people. Some did slow their speech down and ask me more questions. Like, did I understand what they explained? It is quite offensive. Especially if they've known you for a while. As you said- they act like your IQ suddenly dropped. Saying it out like that, I would think that anyone would find such a reaction to be ridiculous, but, I've seen it on some faces- like, oh, now I understand why she always looks lost when we talk- I better slow it down some, lol. Sometimes I really am lost 😵‍💫😅

💯

You're the best!!!!! Thank you for hearing our needs and creating this video!!!!

being autistic is like having an iphone while neurotypical have an android. both are phones but have different os.

I’m actually getting better at recognizing what I am feeling in various situations, though it still feels strangely remote. I can’t name most emotions, and tbh I wonder if giving the emotion a specific name is that critical if I can sense what it means. But there are still lots of places where I can’t tell what I feel about something, or if I’m feeling anything at all. I’m very inconsistent, except to the extent that I’m never genuinely good at it. Still, it’s a step forward from a few years back when I could sense things but was utterly unable to explain what they meant, to myself or anyone else. And if I finally figure out why something is upsetting to me (homing in on that can take years), I have been discovering that there really is some reason why it was upsetting. My instincts are actually worth something, it’s not me flying off the handle for absolutely no reason. Realizing that makes me feel like maybe I am not crazy after all. But man is it hard to figure any of it out. I know self discovery takes time, but I’m pretty sure it’s way harder than average for me.